I highly highly recommend the resource Fight for Love with Rosie Makinney (website, podcast, book). So many women are silently trapped with abusive porn-addicted husbands, both feeling like they have nowhere to turn for help. Fight the New Drug is good for like, people who’ve never thought about it that hard. But for those truly enslaved, more drastic steps are necessary, much more support for the spouses is necessary, and help IS out there.
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind for when I bring out this list of resources again. I'm glad there's a whole spectrum of them - from tech education for parents, to help of all levels for men, women, and spouses. I appreciate the addition. It's truly an unspoken epidemic in many marriages (and generally), so we need to share all the help there is.
Yes, it is great that there is so much more help out there now. Thanks for sharing these resources. I love Rosie because she empowers women to compassionately, prudently say that they just will not allow it in their lives (with apologies to female addicts—her focus is the “traditional” scenario). So many women put up with it in their marriages for too long, for reasons too many to get into here. And it seems that the really entrenched addict often needs the wife’s firm boundaries for him to realize that he can’t have his cake and eat it too, that there is help out there for him.
Thank you for bringing the demonology + tech discussion in. Jacobs' final paragraphs were so powerful.
I've also been thinking about the dopamine/oxytocin trade-off we've gotten ourselves into with smart phones, but now postulating that, ever since the advent of the home television, we have been sick from it. It certainly applies to pornography, and I thank you for bringing light to that darkness, and all the related resources for support.
I'm willing to venture that the most necessary support we need against such evil is confession and absolution and true brotherly love among local Christians, the intergenerational family of believers. May God build such churches in every place.
Aaahhh I have been in the midst of the Kristin Lavransdatter trilogy. Love it. That piece you linked is fascinating. I definitely didn’t read Kristin’s decisions as a trauma response, and still don’t. One of my favorite things about Kristin is her power of accepting responsibility for her own actions, which I think empowers her to move forward in her life with more wisdom. I hesitate to give her a victim label. Do you have a strong opinion on this interpretation?
You know, I've thought about it and I'm still not sure what I think! She certainly accepts responsibility for her actions and ends up wiser for it all in the end. But if the trauma-reaction thread is true, I don't think it automatically gives her a victim label. I'm not sure these things have to be mutually exclusive. But I love that you bring up some pushback. I'll have to keep all this in mind on my third re-read(listen)... whenever that is. lol
I couldn’t think of which newsletter to drop this on, but I decided to try this one.
I just came across this today, and I think it touches on so many of the trends and issues discussed on your newsletter related to family and generational legacy/radical individualism, media and technology, embodiment, marriage, and the religious shift in America. The podcast interview covers the connections really well, I think. Just sticking here in case you feel it might fit in your long list of things to read/listen to ;)
What Happens When a Whole Generation Never Grows Up - WSJ
What an honor to be included in Life Considered, Haley! Thank you. My list of books to read grows ever longer each time I sit down to read your latest gatherings.
I am deeply interested in the way contemporary dissemination of pornography (via self-serve, responsive digital mediums and devices) keys directly into the healthy pursuit of dopamine dominant in male physiology. In general, acknowledging endocrine expression as a potentially broad spectrum, a healthily embodied woman is wired to predominantly seek what will release oxytocin and a healthily embodied man is wired to predominantly seek what will release dopamine. I'm not sure it's possible to address porn addiction at its roots without also acknowledging the way modern porn is fashioned to effectively hijack normal, appropriate male biology. I'm curious to know if you've encountered any resources oriented towards parents that have really explored this need to reclaim dopamine release as a part of equipping young men to avoid or recover from porn addictions?
Yes, this is a needed topic to explore further. But I haven't come across anything exactly as you describe. The link to the Clare Morell interview (on creating dopamine addicts via childhood smartphone use) is the closest thing so far I've got... or that I can think of at the moment. :) I wonder if this dopamine distortion/hijacking starting in childhood also leads to susceptibility to other addictions, like drug use, etc or if that's a stretch. But you raise another important concern to keep in mind with this! The endocrine system and its functions should be treated with the guardedness and care they deserve, able to help or hinder our flourishing.
Wow! That Addicted to Novelty quote encapsulates what I was pondering yesterday. I had seen a YouTube thumbnail saying TikTok is just creepy now. (I don't use it, but I can believe it.) Content is devolving and so are people's appetites and tastes. I don't believe this is reversible in the virtual world. The only solution is rejecting the apps altogether.
I highly highly recommend the resource Fight for Love with Rosie Makinney (website, podcast, book). So many women are silently trapped with abusive porn-addicted husbands, both feeling like they have nowhere to turn for help. Fight the New Drug is good for like, people who’ve never thought about it that hard. But for those truly enslaved, more drastic steps are necessary, much more support for the spouses is necessary, and help IS out there.
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind for when I bring out this list of resources again. I'm glad there's a whole spectrum of them - from tech education for parents, to help of all levels for men, women, and spouses. I appreciate the addition. It's truly an unspoken epidemic in many marriages (and generally), so we need to share all the help there is.
Yes, it is great that there is so much more help out there now. Thanks for sharing these resources. I love Rosie because she empowers women to compassionately, prudently say that they just will not allow it in their lives (with apologies to female addicts—her focus is the “traditional” scenario). So many women put up with it in their marriages for too long, for reasons too many to get into here. And it seems that the really entrenched addict often needs the wife’s firm boundaries for him to realize that he can’t have his cake and eat it too, that there is help out there for him.
Thank you for bringing the demonology + tech discussion in. Jacobs' final paragraphs were so powerful.
I've also been thinking about the dopamine/oxytocin trade-off we've gotten ourselves into with smart phones, but now postulating that, ever since the advent of the home television, we have been sick from it. It certainly applies to pornography, and I thank you for bringing light to that darkness, and all the related resources for support.
I'm willing to venture that the most necessary support we need against such evil is confession and absolution and true brotherly love among local Christians, the intergenerational family of believers. May God build such churches in every place.
Aaahhh I have been in the midst of the Kristin Lavransdatter trilogy. Love it. That piece you linked is fascinating. I definitely didn’t read Kristin’s decisions as a trauma response, and still don’t. One of my favorite things about Kristin is her power of accepting responsibility for her own actions, which I think empowers her to move forward in her life with more wisdom. I hesitate to give her a victim label. Do you have a strong opinion on this interpretation?
You know, I've thought about it and I'm still not sure what I think! She certainly accepts responsibility for her actions and ends up wiser for it all in the end. But if the trauma-reaction thread is true, I don't think it automatically gives her a victim label. I'm not sure these things have to be mutually exclusive. But I love that you bring up some pushback. I'll have to keep all this in mind on my third re-read(listen)... whenever that is. lol
I couldn’t think of which newsletter to drop this on, but I decided to try this one.
I just came across this today, and I think it touches on so many of the trends and issues discussed on your newsletter related to family and generational legacy/radical individualism, media and technology, embodiment, marriage, and the religious shift in America. The podcast interview covers the connections really well, I think. Just sticking here in case you feel it might fit in your long list of things to read/listen to ;)
What Happens When a Whole Generation Never Grows Up - WSJ
https://www.wsj.com/economy/what-happens-when-a-whole-generation-never-grows-up-d200e9ef
And a commentary podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/issues-etc/id284220611?i=1000683245598
Thanks - I've seen that article going around, so I appreciate the podcast commentary!
What an honor to be included in Life Considered, Haley! Thank you. My list of books to read grows ever longer each time I sit down to read your latest gatherings.
I am deeply interested in the way contemporary dissemination of pornography (via self-serve, responsive digital mediums and devices) keys directly into the healthy pursuit of dopamine dominant in male physiology. In general, acknowledging endocrine expression as a potentially broad spectrum, a healthily embodied woman is wired to predominantly seek what will release oxytocin and a healthily embodied man is wired to predominantly seek what will release dopamine. I'm not sure it's possible to address porn addiction at its roots without also acknowledging the way modern porn is fashioned to effectively hijack normal, appropriate male biology. I'm curious to know if you've encountered any resources oriented towards parents that have really explored this need to reclaim dopamine release as a part of equipping young men to avoid or recover from porn addictions?
Yes, this is a needed topic to explore further. But I haven't come across anything exactly as you describe. The link to the Clare Morell interview (on creating dopamine addicts via childhood smartphone use) is the closest thing so far I've got... or that I can think of at the moment. :) I wonder if this dopamine distortion/hijacking starting in childhood also leads to susceptibility to other addictions, like drug use, etc or if that's a stretch. But you raise another important concern to keep in mind with this! The endocrine system and its functions should be treated with the guardedness and care they deserve, able to help or hinder our flourishing.
Fantastic as always!
So glad you are enjoying The Reed of God: it’s definitely one of those that gives a lot to chew over slowly!
Wow! That Addicted to Novelty quote encapsulates what I was pondering yesterday. I had seen a YouTube thumbnail saying TikTok is just creepy now. (I don't use it, but I can believe it.) Content is devolving and so are people's appetites and tastes. I don't believe this is reversible in the virtual world. The only solution is rejecting the apps altogether.
So many good pieces this week! I've saved a bunch to my bookmarks to read over my lunch break.