Week 7 (2025)
personal deserts & Orthodoxy, reality for girls & us all, imagination, artistry & becoming a homemaker
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to read: books
You Are Mine — Sister Anastasia — Some loose threads from essays I’ve shared previously, reignited in my brain (among so many other thoughts!) while listening to read her book:
First, this is an astonishing, beautiful, and earthy memoir. All of us Christians have our own stories to share, and it’s right and good they aren’t all astonishing in the same ways. Those such as
’s (as told here), as well as Sister Anastasia’s just happen to include experiences with things such as the New Age, occult practices, witchcraft, plant healing and worship, Wiccan priesthood, and generally pagan spirituality. She has a story of being brought into the light which is well worth reading. And considering the intensity of some aspects, it’s told in a quite readable, straightforward way. You’re left with a feeling of the lightness, clarity, and freedom she also has through the love of the Father, the person of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit.I would be remiss not to re-up
’ incredible essay Dark Enchantment. As puts it, “it is a fairly small step from paganism to Christ, but a fairly huge chasm between rationalist consumerist materialism (the true majority religion of America) to Christ. I have seen people use it as a stepping-stone. Once you get beyond “physical existence is the only plane of existence” the rest is pretty easy.”One resounding reality I came away with was that of Ephesians 6:12: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
As an example,
, writing about busyness, says that the book “comes at this same problem from a radically different perspective, that of a millennial occultist-turned-Orthodox-nun. Both see the hyper-stimulation of modern life as incompatible with human nature. In Burkeman’s case, he sees this on purely material terms—attention span, our nervous system, the pace and precarity of Late Capitalism in the West. Meanwhile, Sr. Anastasia sees our chasing after ideology and stimulation as a misplaced desire, one that can only find satisfaction in Jesus Christ.”Additionally, some time before starting this book, I happened upon this video from Brian Holdsworth. In it, he mentions his experiences with oppression coinciding with the 3 o’clock hour of the night (something I had never heard of before). Sister Anastasia also mentions this being a key time for her former work, and also of prayer for those in the Orthodox monastery she ended up in during her conversion. Not a coincidence and very much deliberate, she sees in hindsight.
"The visions I then experienced when Jesus entered into this sphere differed simply in that he was present in them. The atmosphere remained the same, but He was absolutely nothing like any of the other supernatural creatures, gods, goddesses, spirits, symbols, or structures that frequented my spirit-contact experiences."
"The veil that had been obscuring my sight was completely lifted. There was now a uniformity to the visions that separated them from everything before. My pagan visions had the quality of fluorescent light amidst darkness, but now everything was gold. No other animals or spirits were ever present. What differentiated these visions is that they were heavenly... I couldn't visualize anything into being."
As someone who does believe in the power of the Holy Spirit—yet reading this from an extremely modern West (and yes, perhaps comparatively rationalist and materialist) perspective—it was out of my norm to hear of the visions and experiences she had. Even visions that were of the Spirit during and after her conversion. But I was reminded of
words here: “…while claiming that God could not (or would not) do anything that wasn’t explicitly detailed in scripture, the Devil—a creative artist—was able to do much more than is written. Not only did they deny the Holy Spirit the power to continue working new mysteries, they claimed any such signs were purely and completely of Satan. According to this way of thinking, the Devil—not the Holy Trinity—had more creative license.” shared these quotations from it a while back. “The maiming of the feminine did not come from God… The evil one hates the feminine, hates the womb, hates women…”The chapter on Molech—the demonic deity associated with child sacrifice—was appropriately harrowing. We in the West are really good at rationalizing occurrences around us, numbing our senses to it, using purely clinical, sociological, or psychological language to describe rampant phenomena such as abortion or pornography. (Alan Jacobs has written about our need for a demonology in general, referring to
’s writing on a particularly disturbing kind.) What if we were sensitive enough to perceive the demonic forces, the spiritual oppression at work in these particular acts of violence, of desecration—against women’s souls, bodies, wombs, and children?Not to be dramatic, but I feel a tad less crazy for often feeling an otherwise inexplicable heaviness when going to my prenatal appointments over the years. There is absolutely a spiritual battle going on when it comes to women and their wombs. We can describe this in clinical terms, an unfortunate but a sad reality. However, I don’t think my palpable feelings are completely out of touch with reality. There is real spiritual darkness that descends on hospital and clinic rooms. Maybe this should be a reminder to myself to pray over those spaces, and the women occupying them.
to read: essays, articles, newsletters
The “Finest In Disorganized Religion?” Orthodoxy Christianity Endures — Paul Siewers, The Public Discourse — “But while Orthodoxy’s “multipolar” context arguably can foster temporary frictions, across centuries it has also lent itself to an oddly flexible resilience, not always easily legible to Western perspectives.”
(additionally, some fine folks on here from the Orthodox side of things: ,, , , , , , )
- w/ Will Bryant, Fare Forward — “In the ancient world, there were ways to send letters through a rudimentary postal system, so that you didn’t need to send it with a person. The wealthy might send a slave to deliver it, but the middle class, if they had the means, would find a ship going in the right direction and pay the captain to ensure it reached its destination. The early church, though, did not follow that model… they still chose to send the letter with a person.”
- , Word On Fire — “Are we enabling girls to encounter God through his first revelation: creation itself? Are we giving them opportunities to exercise their rationality and freedom as stewards of this created world, rather than as mere consumers? Do we facilitate and encourage traditionally human work and hobbies for mind and body?”
Virgil And The Christian Imagination — Paul Krause, Front Porch Republic — “Our world cries out like Gallus for that healing love that mends the soul.”
Building A Vibrant Catholic Culture Through Artistic Virtues —
, Our Sunday Visitor — “I speak of a life lived in the Spirit. Yet how can we cultivate a culture within the Church that reflects this goodness? How can the Church tell the story of how we can live? …even more so, it is learning to see.”Interview: Venture Capitalist To Homemaker —
with — “Aspiring to support a home & community that is economically efficient, stewards our resources well, & cares for people's immediate needs while ALSO pulling people into a rich artistic & intellectual environment that pursues the good, the beautiful, and the true is what ambitious homemaking is to me.”
My Own Personal Desert — Jeannie Rose Barksdale, Plough — “Shall I pull an Antony? Drop my kids off with the nuns and head to a desert? As appealing as that might sound at certain moments, I doubt God is calling me to abandon my children en route to holiness. Any transformation will have to happen in the context of the life I’m living, responsibilities and all… Could parenting be my desert?”
- , —
“And you, going about
the toil of your life, the toil
you call mundane, blinding, that toil
you tend to hate, what if
you could know all the fruit
of your toil by how easy
it is to see — how lovely —
how heady
and fleeting?”
What It’s Really Like Being A (Almost) 40-Year-Old Virgin Christian Man In 2025 — John Matthew Southers,
— Bless this guy for speaking the quiet parts out loud, on behalf of more people than he may know.
to watch, listen to
Continuing On:
Black & Red All Over: A Classic Confessing Anglican Podcast with Steven Wedgeworth & Richard Tarsitano — Article 17: Of Predestination and Election
The Natural Womanhood Podcast with
& Cassondra Moriarty — Season 2, Episode 10 — Breastfeeding with FAM? Yes, You Can — “It’s incredible to me the amount of people in the lactation world (or birth world) who may not be familiar with fertility awareness… even in my midwife’s office… she actually asked me for resources… birth control has been the status quo for so long that even in the crunchier homebirth and midwife groups, you’re still gonna find that knee jerk recourse… it almost feels predatory… We know that hormonal contraception increases your risk of depression, so I wonder how those two [depression and prolactin production for breastfeeding] connect.” // I find that first point fascinating and frustrating, as well. Respect for and cooperation with the female body seems like it should be a whole package? That’s kind of the whole deal with women’s bodies: they are intricate and interconnected. It’s extremely disorienting to me that many of those passionate about more natural birthing and breastfeeding are often so unfamiliar with the female body outside of those very acute periods in a woman’s life. I wonder, why so much support for these two particular things and then when that’s over… get handed back to the mechanical conveyor belt of women’s care for the majority of the fertile years? For invasive, unnecessary tinkering with and overriding of physiology? The irony is too much!!1) Fertility Awareness—and by association Natural Reproductive Technology/Restorative Reproductive Medicine 2) Midwifery Support 3) Lactation Support all serve distinct purposes, and I’m thankful for those who specialize! It simply seems strange for a good chunk of those working to support women in their bodies’ functions to be completely in the dark on the former… of relevance to the most women, including those not bearing and breastfeeding children… and certainly of concern to those who are. More ladies with Cassondra’s dual expertise, please. Need to hand this rant off to someone else. Feel free to pick it up if you wanna investigate this phenomenon.
Woven Well Podcast with
— Episode 39 — Should I Be Taking Supplements?
(more resources on female embodiment in the Big Ol' Compilation)
to glean from: tip, product, resource
These Drinks From Kristin Lavransdatter’s Norway — The coffee recipe is simple enough, but someone try the Gløgg on my behalf. A couple more months left to carry this baby, but I hope to be back in action with some mixed drinks later in the year. (My husband and I need to branch out from the pumpkin spice dark and stormy phase we were into last year… though they are delicious.)
This New Literary Imprint — In light of the reads above on Christian imagination and culture, formed through artistic virtues… send
your “submissions of contemplative realist fiction.”
Every week's post is good, but this collection really hits many of the topics I've been thinking about lately. How do we live in light of true Reality, in our own contexts, in the spaces where God has placed us - not in an individualized way, but in the church and community? How does that change not just our actions but our thoughts? (and without letting all of this overwhelm and paralyze us into inaction)
Thanks for the great thoughts this week. I appreciate them so much!
"There is absolutely a spiritual battle going on when it comes to women and their wombs."
You are not dramatic. This has, honestly, helped me better understand my "reproductive mental health issues," however I ultimately deal with them at any given stage. Christian women should not be surprised when we encounter great difficulty in motherhood - physical or spiritual - and EVERYONE should be in prayer for and supportive of mothers for this very reason.
God bless and keep you at your appointments; you bring light to the clinic.