Week 12 (2021)
the virtue in private lives, pain in parenting & the caskets of children, looking for home, asian americans in rural america
(Open in your browser — emails cut off at the end!)
to read: essays, articles
I traded my chronic pain for children. — Liuan Huska, Fathom — “I start to resent how much their bodies need from me. I feel trapped by their fragile flesh. The decisions—Tylenol or not? See the doctor or wait it out?—are a corset around my ribs, each one laced with what ifs and second guesses.”
Living Without An Admiring Audience — John Starke — “…our culture has internalized the idea that signifiers of being okay are primarily visual and our identity and self worth are metrics to be displayed.
This is why private spiritual disciplines and virtue formation has no sense of reward for us. Quiet prayer brings no admiration from others. It is not a visual indicator of success. But we will be frail people if we do not find a way to grow out of this way of living.”
(I’ve also took the liberty of saving his film photos of the Arizona desert to be used for my phone’s wallpaper. Ethereal and otherworldly.)
The Terrible Mercy And Love Of A Child’s Casket — Leah Libresco Sargeant, The American Conservative — “A child, living or dead, is ultimately entrusted to more than just his or her parents. The dependency of a child, to be picked up, to be played with, to be taught, to be mourned at the end of a life of any length, goes beyond what a mother and father can satisfy alone. We remain dependent throughout our lives, though that need for others is most insistent and undeniable at the beginning and end of life.
Asian Americans in Rural America— Benya Kraus, Women’s Press — ”The two women at church in Minari had no intention of teaching English (or learning Korean in exchange), but they were quick to reduce Claudia to a pejorative, perpetual foreigner “cuteness” that offers no sense of curiosity for the fullness of her humanity, or what they could learn from her — or most meaningfully and transformatively, a friendship.”
Finding My Family’s Bones— Meg Conley, Human Parts — “Of course, culture isn’t just cornbread, it’s complicated. One trip couldn’t reconnect me to the story of those hills. Walking into a hollow my family walked out of couldn’t help me grasp the pride of the place, or its prejudices. Eating pie in Pikeville didn’t make me an Appalachian expert. I didn’t learn about Kentucky outside of my white foremothers and fathers’ experiences. Some of them may have been Appalachian activists, but that didn’t make me one. A tourist can only catch glimmers of the beauty and glances of the ugly. Eastern Kentucky is a community sustained by rich veins of a shared story; I can’t simply extract what I like and walk away.”
to read: books
Working my way through a few, but none were actually finished this week. Stay tuned.
to watch
More Work, Fewer Babies — Institute for Human Ecology — “What does workism have to do with falling fertility?” Fascinating research explained. (We the Baumeisters are sociology nerds, so this is fun stuff.)
Salt Fat Acid Heat — Netflix — After listening to the audiobook last week, we watched this fun series. Learned a ton, got inspired.
to listen: music
Texas Sun — Kruangbin & Leon Bridges
Forever Amen — Steffany Gretzinger
to listen: audio
A Drink With a Friend: Pointing at the Sky — Tsh, Seth, and Stephanie are all people whom I admire for their written work (books, newsletters, etc), so to hear their voices in conversation (about writing) was a treat. Here's a link to the short video from Sara Billups mentioned by Seth.
The Lazy Genius Organizes Paper + The Lazy Genius Guide to Moving — Kendra speaks my language, and I’m sure you’ll also enjoy learning how to implement her principles to various life situations. (And when she brings language to what I instinctually do, it’s validating for my nerdy, system-oriented self!)
to cook
(We had extra sour cream from the enchiladas, so I found recipes that incorporate it into these two classics. Loved ‘em.)
(Here’s more creative ideas for using up extra sour cream in desserts.)
to celebrate
Spring is arriving, and so are vaccines.
to remember, reflect
A Year Ago...
Trying to get EzB to pack on the pounds, enjoying his baby chub, and dressing the child like a vacationer in Hawaii.
This Week...
A week of grandparents. Grilling, cooking, and the first day of spring. Pizza, bagels, and an attempt at two same-day pediatric appointments. Solo outings for a haircut and a walk to the beach. Afternoon lunch and coffee and shopping, just Jakob and I. Blue skies and bright sun. Reminders to purposefully connect with those we’re tempted to neglect. Front yard picnics and hot chocolate with friends.
“he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.”
Luke 1:52-53